My Walk With Love – Testimony

May 2, 2026, Saturday

I recently used to be one who chased after love. I wanted a secure love that chose me and wasn’t going anywhere. I used to believe I had to be and do so many things to achieve it. I idolized people hoping their love would fill the voids I had within me. I remained in toxic relationships, cycling through the same broken mindset, repeating the same depleting habits. I allowed my heart and my soul to be stepped on and bruised. My mind became tainted because all I knew was broken love. I didn’t know how to love myself. I didn’t believe I was capable of being loved properly. I thought love wasn’t something freely given – I believed it had to be earned. 

Chasing after love only left me heartbroken and alone. The love I chased after was fragile. It never had the capacity to love me in the way I truly needed, because it came from people. People who have limits, traumas, beliefs, and ways that may not always be good or right. I didn’t understand then that their love would eventually let me down in some way, shape, or form. 

I remember reaching a point where my heart felt exhausted. After another cycle of heartbreak, disappointment, and trying to hold together what kept breaking me, I sat there numb. I didn’t believe in love anymore. At that point, love felt painful, unstable, and temporary. I wanted nothing to do with it or people anymore. In my eyes they were the problem – the cause of my pain and trauma. I stepped into an internal withdrawal. I was physically there in the face of man, but I was no longer present. I withdrew even more from people because I was tired of being hurt. My temper became even shorter – I was blowing up on everybody for small things. I strongly desired death to come for me. My suffering had altered me. Sitting with God in those moments was hard.

But it was here, in this moment, that my Savior stepped in front of me. He revealed truth to me and began to quietly hold me and comfort me. He understood everything and saw exactly where I was at this time. He addressed it all – the hurt, the ugly, and even the times I was able to pull it together and gain strength through Him. At first, I resisted and brushed Him off. However, He kept pursing and drawing near – I ended up clinging to Him because I felt as though I had no one else. I withdrew from everyone and pushed them away. I kept everything I was going through bottled up. God was the only One I went to. I felt alone, depleted, and misused once again. In my isolation from others for a moment – I drew closer and closer to God. My eyes began to open, and I realized how He was still here by me. How He was still showing up for me. How He was always with me through it all. How He was the only One able to get me through every heart break and still have light, joy, and love to give. I realized how good He had been to me even when I overlooked Him chasing after something else. He had been pursuing me all along. 

When I came to notice His love for real, I realized it was no longer something I had only read about or heard others speak of. It had become something I personally experienced. Slowly, He began changing the way I saw both Him and myself. His love is free, pure, genuine, faithful, kind, gentle, corrective, everlasting, healing and life changing. His love is so deep and so great. It had set me free. His love has been changing me from within, even in the way I show up in this world. It carries so much goodness because it flows from who He is, and all He wanted was for me to receive Him. Moving forward, Jesus is the One I choose daily – He’s the One I want – the One I desire – the One I want to live and be for. 

I will never go back to chasing after love or man proclaiming love because Love lives within. I now know I am loved wholly, deeply, securely and everlastingly. I have a love that surpasses everything anyone can offer me. His love is where I stand today and will remain forever more. I no longer chase after love because I have love within. It is an overflowing endless river. I learned people failed me because I was asking them to fill places in me that only God could reach. God revealed that what I was searching for and longing after was Him all along.

I now understand the truth of scripture for it has birthed forth and come to life. For it says in Songs of Solomon 2:14,16 “O my dove, here in the clefts in the rock, in the sheltered and secret place of the steep pathway, let me see your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely…. My beloved is mine and I am His; He pastures His flock among the lilies (lilies represent purity).”

Jesus showed me that – here securely in Him I am sheltered protected and covered in our intimate and close relationship. I am not striving to reach Him. Instead, I follow the pathway that leads to the Most High – a path higher and greater than myself. Seeking and desiring to see His beautiful face and hear His sweet voice. I witness His character and true nature through His ways He teaches me – which is higher than anything here on earth. I listen for Him –His words are sweet to my soul, drawing me in deeper. He is truly my Rock – the One who is steady when everything else isn’t. The Rock for everyone seeking something or someone so True.

The Lord does not invite us to Him only for what He can give. He invites us to rest in His presence, to sit under His covering, and to experience the sweetness of His love.

His love is not distant or conditional. It is faithful, patient, and everlasting. He places a banner of love over us and calls us His own. A covenant that remains lifted – still covering, still declaring, still choosing. Even if you don’t feel loved – and even if you feel far from God. He is still declaring that you are covered, chosen, and His. He delights in His people and draws us close – if you’re willing to come.

👉His love is still covering you today. 

👉His banner is still over you today.

👉His choice is still active – right now.

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